


The Ballad of Rey and Ben

by Riverspirit86



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a song, F/M, Mental Health Issues, The Writing Den, kinda alcohol abuse, not really a song fic though, the lyrics do make appearances kinda, unnamed mental health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 05:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16402046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverspirit86/pseuds/Riverspirit86
Summary: Rey escapes to the ocean to deal with her own faltering mental health while Ben's own mental health self-destructs in her absence. Will they be able to make it work when Rey comes back or will they fall apart and break up?Based on the song "The Ballad of Love and Hate" by The Avett Brothers.





	The Ballad of Rey and Ben

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to the wonderful people at [The Reylo Writing Den](https://thereylowritingden.tumblr.com/) for keeping me motivated to finish this piece! Also a big thank you to the many people who sprinted with me over the last week! I dedicate this fic to you guys and to The Writing Den. Thanks for having me!
> 
> I'll include a youtube link to the song in the end comments. I hope you enjoy!

The postcard stand squeaked as a tan hand turned it, the only noise in the quiet beach shop besides an old box fan pointed at the clerk behind the counter. She turned the stand to the final side, trying to find just the perfect one to send back home. Her right hand ran down the stand, gently touching each card, while her left hand clutched several postcards tightly, as if she was afraid the faint, warm breeze had the strength to tear them from her grasp. Her fingers stopped at the bottom postcard, and she pulled it out of its shelf, blowing a thin layer of dust off of it.

_ ‘Perfect,’ _ she thought to herself, taking in the silhouette of the pier set against the twilight sky, just after sunset, printed on the face of the postcard. It was darker than all of the other postcards on the stand, probably why it was so dusty from never being picked. But it was perfect for the recipient in her mind. Mission accomplished, she paid for her postcards and quickly left the shop. Flip-flops sounded against the wood of the boardwalk as she made her way to the pier pictured on the last postcard. She only had three more days of her vacation left, and that was already four days past her original return date of yesterday. She could have been at home already, curled up in  _ his _ embrace, but the ocean called to her, begging her to stay. Growing up in the desert, she had never seen so much water in one place before  _ he _ had taken her to the ocean on their first big trip as a couple, three and a half years prior.

But something had changed in him this past year, which is why she needed to get away, to escape to one of the few places she felt totally at peace. She knew she loved him, and she always would, but she needed to know if that was the right decision for them, to stay together, forever. The diamond, much too big for her simple tastes, sparkled on her left ring finger in the fading sunlight as she sat down at the end of the pier. She pulled a ballpoint pen out of her small purse, and shifted, trying to make herself comfortable against the weathered wood underneath her. Folding one leg under the other one, she let her free foot dangle above the small waves below her, as she began writing on the first postcard she picked out, a picture perfect sunrise, with the ferris wheel juxtaposed against the brightening day.

It was just a simple update to her best friend, Finn, but she knew he collected all the postcards she sent him from all of her travels. He had accumulated a vast amount, as she now traveled fairly frequently. But she always came home. That was the important part, to both her and  _ him _ . She always came back, no matter how far she wandered, she always came back to him. Finishing up the first letter, she gently shook it, trying to get the ink to dry faster. She would drop them all off at the local post office tomorrow, and they would hopefully arrive just before she did. The next postcard was going to the same address, but she knew Rose would appreciate having her own little piece of the ocean, as her card was a crystal clear tidepool, with starfish and tiny shells. She had picked up a couple shells, and a few pieces of seaglass, to give to Rose when she got back and saw her next. Again, she shook the card to dry the ink, knowing just how many shakes to give before the postcard was safe to tuck under her folded knee without smudging the ink.

Poe’s postcard was last. Well, last before  _ his _ . But Poe’s card was easy to write. She knew he didn’t hold a lot of attachment to them, unlike Finn, but it was still a nice sentiment to send one to each of her few friends. So Poe’s postcard just had the recipe for the mixed drink she had two nights prior. This would be a card he kept. The last postcard stared up at her from underneath her knee, and she sighed before picking it up and admiring the twilight pier before turning it over. Her pen almost touched the card before she lifted it again, hesitating on what to say. A warm breeze ruffled the small hairs that had fallen out of her bun and a chill ran down her spine. She would enjoy the last few days of her vacation and she wouldn’t let him ruin it. So she wrote quickly.

_ Ben, _

_ My vacation’s ending. I’m coming home late.  _

_ The weather was fine, and the ocean was great.  _

_ And I can’t wait to see you again. _

_ Love, _

_ Rey _

* * *

Rey was supposed to come home four days ago. And Ben had just gotten her postcard today. He didn’t know what “late” was to her, but to him, four days was well past his definition of “late”. It was starting to feel like she had abandoned him, left him, forgotten him. He flipped over the postcard, looking at its image printed in glossy ink. She preferred the bright and colorful postcards personally, so he knew she had picked out this darker one just for him. But that didn’t matter. It was clear she didn’t care about him. She must have found a younger, hotter, fling down by the ocean. Someone better than him in every single way. With his heart crying out in pain, and his mind filled with rage, he ripped up the postcard, dumping its remains in the kitchen garbage can, making a mental note to take it out later that evening, should she come back.

_ ‘No one here cares if you go or you stay,’ _ he thought, pacing around their tiny shared apartment, stepping over the pile of fur that was their cat and dog.  _ ‘I barely even noticed that you were away. I’ll see you or I won’t,’  _ “Whatever.” The last of his thoughts came out in an angry mutter. His heart hoped she would come home soon, but his mind wished she would stay away. It was always an eternal conflict between the two. He knew that was why she was struggling. He had been trying to hide it, but she was just so damn perceptive. It felt like he was being pulled in two different directions. He loved her, he truly did, but he was scared. She was too good for him, too pure and kind. So it was only a matter of time before she realized that she could do so much better than him. Then she would leave, and take what little light he had left in his world with her. 

Rightly so, though. He kept testing her, pushing her away before drawing her back. He tried to stop himself from doing it, but the twisted part of himself, hidden deep down, needed to know if she truly loved him. Words could be lies; actions were what meant more. Her fleeing to the ocean, and then not coming back when she said she would meant more than her loving words spoken to him before she left and written on her postcard to him. 

He clutched his hair tightly, pulling it to distract himself from his increasingly darker thoughts. Of course she loved him. She was just enjoying her alone time at one of her few happy places. She would return soon to another of her happy places, his arms. He just had to get through however many days, hours, minutes, seconds, she would be gone. Then he would tell her. He’d tell her everything. 

_ ‘She would run if she knew even the tiniest bit of what you were going through.’ _ His head spewed lies to him, twisting his heart and mind into a jumbled mess. He needed out. Now. He grabbed his jacket and his keys on the counter, getting into his car and speeding out of the driveway, not knowing where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to leave. He would be back though, just like she always came back.

“I will be back. And so will she.”

* * *

The flight would take just under three hours, but Rey couldn’t stop bouncing in her seat. She was excited yet nervous to get back to Ben. After her extended stay by the ocean, she had finally made up her mind about whether or not she felt they should stay together. It was a tough decision to make, but she knew he would understand and would work to become a better person. Looking out her window, she took in the shimmering ocean below, knowing in just a couple of minutes, they would be above land until the plane touched back down. She wanted the memory of peace and calm to stick with her while she went back to the person she loved dearly, yet was someone who was struggling. She cared for Ben deeply, but she couldn’t handle his swings. Something was wrong, something he was hiding from her, and Rey had had enough. 

Her faint reflection stared back at her from the window, and she focused on it, taking in her bright and luminous face, a stark contrast to the pale skin and dark circles she had arrived with. She really had needed this vacation, more so than she had originally thought when she planned it. Oh the fight they had. Ben didn’t want her to leave, but she knew she needed to get away, even if was only for a week. Well, a week plus her four day extension. She knew he would either be loving beyond words, or would ignore her for a day or two when she finally arrived back. But they would have the talk they needed to have sooner or later. She would make sure of that.

Settling back in her seat, Rey began quietly humming a nonsense song, one she was making up as she went. It was melancholic yet uplifting, as if someone was being pulled from a dark place and into the light. A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, and she wiped it away, not really knowing why she was so emotional. She was going home, to the one she loved. She shouldn’t be dreading this. They were going to have a tough conversation when she got home, but still. She would be at their apartment, their home, in five hours or less. She had to get a grip on her emotions. She couldn’t show weakness, or pain.

Another tear slipped out, splashing down onto her jeans, and Rey brushed away the wetness it left on her cheek. She had just spent all that time coming to peace with her tumultuous emotions when dealing with Ben, so why was she crying now? Wasn’t her conflict over? Her resolve in place? A choked sob made its way out of her throat, and Rey buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. She didn’t care that her seatmate was probably motioning to a stewardess to be moved to a different seat. She didn’t care that the surrounding seats were probably looking at her in surprise, shock, pity, whatever sicking emotion they felt as they looked onward as she cried freely. The emotions she had so carefully compartmentalized over the past eleven days came rushing out of her. Frustration and happiness. Dissatisfaction and contentedness. Anxiety and calmness. Love and Hate. All of them poured out of her as she broke down openly.

After a couple minutes of crying, Rey’s sobs slowed into the occasional hiccup of a half-sob, half laugh. Looking out the window again, all she could see were clouds, and when they broke, the green land beneath them. The ocean, her happy place, was long behind them. Wiping the wetness from her face, Rey breathed an easy sigh, feeling the peace she felt when she stood by the ocean slowly wash over her again. She could do this. She had to, for both of them.

* * *

Ben had parked haphazardly, not really caring if his car got dinged by another car door or if someone left an angry note about his abysmal parking skills. They could get over it. He had more important things to do. Forcing his head up, Ben walked through the neighboring city’s streets. He wanted away from the tiny town where Rey and he lived, where everyone knew everybody. Where he couldn’t pretend he was someone else. Where no one knew he was Ben Solo, Senator Leia Organa-Solo’s only son with the air-force pilot Han Solo. Oh the scandal that fiery relationship was. Which meant he was gossiped about constantly online. Where was he? What was he doing? Would he ever resurface out of his hiding? Thankfully, their tiny town was respectful and kept his existence quiet. But that didn’t stop his parents from trying to contact him.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of thoughts of the past. They didn’t care about him, they never did. So why was he thinking about them now? Someone passed him on the sidewalk, and they nodded in greeting, Ben hesitating for only a split second before greeting the stranger in the same way. He could get used to being treated like one of the many faces that this city saw every day. But Rey was too attached to the small town they lived in. She’d never agree to move. She loved feeling like she was a part of something, even though she would always be a part of him. She wanted to feel wanted, despite being wanted by him. Their small town gave her the impression of a family, the one that she never had. Plus her close friends lived there too, so it made sense that she wouldn’t want to separate from what makeshift family she had created with them.

Another random stranger passed him, giving Ben a small smile and another nod. This time, Ben didn’t hesitate, returning the greeting almost immediately, though his smile dropped quickly and his features returned to their original, serious look as soon as the stranger was behind him. Neon lights to his left caught his attention, and he looked at the bar across the street.  _ ‘I could use a drink. Might get her off my mind.’ _ He thought to himself, looking to see if it was safe to cross, before he half jogged across the street. 

He entered the dark and smokey bar, coughing slightly under his breath, making his was up to the bartender. After ordering a whiskey, neat, Ben took a seat towards the end of the bar. His drink arrived quickly, and he looked into the deep amber liquid with a faintly disgusted look on his face. Ben hated whiskey, but it made him look like a “proper adult,” as stated by his alcoholic father. So he drank it, despite his aversion to it. Ben vastly preferred the “girly shit,” also stated by the infamous Han Solo, because the “girly” drinks were much sweeter, so they were much easier to drink. But when Ben wanted it to hurt, or when he was in public, he chose whiskey. His tall, broad frame and brooding persona made it too difficult to drink a long island or a sex on the beach in public without ridicule from the fellow men in the bar, or from his companions. Well, except Rey.

She had never made fun of him or laughed at him for his taste in drinks. Or at him for anything beyond harmless flirting and teasing. She truly cared for him, something he hadn’t been showing to her lately. And he hated himself for that. She deserved so much better than him, which is why he was so damn scared she was taking so long to come back home. His hand trembled as he lifted the glass of whiskey to his lips. When had his glass gotten so empty? He drained the last of it, and motioned to the bartender for another. 

When his second tumbler was placed in front of him, Ben didn’t hesitate before taking a drink, swallowing almost half of the golden liquid before he set it back down on the bar with a little more force than he had intended. He was so damn weak. He relied on Rey’s love and validation to give him his self-esteem and self-worth. It wasn’t healthy, and he knew it. 

“Damn it all,” he muttered under his breath. Wincing, he drained the last of his second drink. He stood up and paid his tab before quickly rushing out of bar. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t keep thinking of  _ her _ . He needed her out of his mind, out of his thoughts. He clearly wasn’t in her’s, so why should she be in his?

* * *

The plane landed safely and on time, and Rey had disembarked as quickly as she was able to. Standing at the baggage claim, waiting for it to start cycling their luggage, her thoughts wandered to what would be awaiting her at home. She hoped Ben would be waiting for her and would be the loving Ben he once was, but she had a feeling it would be the pain of him ignoring her for a couple of days before finally coming around and seeing that she had needed her vacation badly. Her carry-on backpack rested heavily on her shoulders just as her thoughts rested heavily on her mind. 

How could she show him that she loved him, purely and truly? She already did her best to help him with whatever he was struggling with, which he wouldn’t tell her. And it was so very taxing on her own mental health to keep him afloat along with her own issues. They were two broken people trying to fix each other before they even stopped to fix themselves first. She couldn’t do that dance anymore. She had always had it in her mind that, because Ben was the first person who had shown romantic interest in her, she should be with him forever. He was also the only person she had ever slept with, and that was perfectly fine with her. She wasn’t settling by being engaged to him, not at all. But she was tired. Tired of being the one to always initiate anything with him. Hell, he didn’t even try to hold her hand anymore unless she held his hand first. It was the complete opposite from the beginning of their relationship, where he had been so loving and caring every single second they were together.

They both needed to grow. They both had their issues and problems they needed to deal with before they could be happy, whether that would be together or apart. Rey’s heart clenched at the thought of being without Ben. He had been her partner, her love, for the last four and a half years. But if he couldn’t change, couldn’t open up to her, was she really willing to stick with him? She thought she had made up her mind, but being a forty-five minute drive from their apartment made it all sink in. What she said to Ben, when they had their conversation, could make or break them. 

The conveyor belt on the baggage claim started moving and shortly after, the first couple suitcases started spitting out. Luckily, Rey’s small, battered suitcase was one of the first couple out, so she was able to grab it and leave before more people headed for the taxis. As she walked away, pulling her suitcase behind her, she thought about what she needed from Ben. She needed his trust, to tell her everything that was going on and what was wrong. She needed to be able to hold him and to have him hold her, of his own will. She wanted his affection back. And finally, Rey needed his care. He wasn’t the only one struggling. But she was willing to put her own issues on the back-burner if he was willing to talk to her about his issues and was willing to seek some help, beyond hers, for them. Pulling her jacket tighter around her, she walked out into the cool, March twilight.

* * *

Rey was probably home by now, but Ben couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. He had found a small, wooded outcropping in a park halfway between the big city and their small town. He was sitting on the hood of his car, just looking up at the moon and the stars. They were so far away, much like how Rey was to him. Metaphorically and emotionally, of course. Literal distance, probably only twenty minutes, maybe twenty-five. He took another sip of the Everclear hidden in the brown paper bag. It burned like hell, but he deserved it. He kept pushing her away, not letting her in or telling her what exactly was wrong with him. But even he didn’t know what was wrong. All he knew was that something wasn’t right.

“I should probably see a damn shrink.” He muttered into the bottle, wincing as he took another sip. He couldn’t finish the bottle tonight, but damn did he want to. But he had to drive home at some point, and driving blackout drunk wasn’t something he wanted to do. He wasn’t  _ that _ suicidal. Well, maybe a little. But he couldn’t leave Rey like that. He might not care about himself, but he did love her. But did he love her enough to see someone for the issues he was going through?

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Nothing heard his whispered confession but the quiet night that surrounded him. Taking a larger swig than normal of the overly powerful drink, he brought his wrist up to his face, attempting to focus on his watch. The time read 8:03pm, and Ben groaned. He knew he should head back before it got any later, but the silent solitude he found in the night was too relaxing. For the first time in a long, long time, Ben felt at peace.

He took one last drink of the Everclear before he twisted the cap back on, slowly and carefully sliding off the hood of his car. Stumbling a bit, he tried to regain his balance.  _ ‘Guess I drank more than I realized,’ _ he thought to himself, getting into the driver’s seat.  _ ‘I’m just going to rest for a couple minutes before I head home . . .’ _ His thought process trailed off as he laid his head back and promptly passed out.

* * *

The taxi ride was quiet for the most part, the radio solely used as background noise. Her driver was a young man, maybe barely old enough to drink. He might have been someone she would have dated if she was a couple years younger, closer to his age, and if she wasn’t currently engaged. But she was to be married, eventually, if they worked things out and if Ben ever agreed to plan the wedding with her. She didn’t want what would be the happiest day of both their lives to be planned just by her. Hell, if she had her way, they’d just head down to the courthouse and be done with it. Ben was the one who wanted the wedding. Why he did, she didn’t know. She doubted he would invite his parents, so the only people who would attend would be Poe, Finn, and Rose. Maybe BeeBee and Hate would dress up in a little tux and dress and be their ring bearer and flower girl. Just picturing the orange and white corgi in a tux, and the pitch black cat in a pastel dress, brought a smile to Rey’s face and a small giggle escaped her lips.

“Something funny come to mind, miss?”

Rey snapped back to reality when the taxi driver spoke. She felt his eyes on her, so she looked up and met his gaze in the rear-view mirror. Smiling slightly, she answered the driver.

“Just imagining my pets dressed up for my wedding.” She saw the hope die in his eyes at the word wedding. _‘If only you understood.’_ She thought.

“Ah. Well, he’s a very lucky man. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.” He turned the radio up after he stopped speaking, signifying the conversation was over. That was fine with Rey. She didn’t really want to get into all the dirty details of her faltering relationship with a random taxi driver. But she did want to speak to someone about the stress she had been under lately. She knew Finn and Rose would be more than willing to listen, and she was so thankful for that. But she needed to speak with a professional.

_ ‘I wonder if Ben would agree to go to couples therapy with me?’  _ She thought to herself. Glancing at her phone, she noted the time.  _ ‘Almost seven. Just another fifteen minutes and I’ll be home. Then we can talk.’ _ She stared out at the swiftly darkening sky. The first couple stars were beginning to shine and the moon was luminous and bright. Staring up at the night sky brought Rey almost as much peace as standing by the ocean. Not quite as much, but almost. It was the best she could do in their quiet, Midwestern town without flying several hours, like she just did. Stargazing with Ben was one of their first dates, all those years ago. Whenever she looked up at the moon and stars, she was reminded of Ben.

_ ‘I wonder if Ben thinks of me when he looks up at the night sky? I doubt it, though.’ _ She thought sadly, not realizing that, several miles away, Ben had just gotten onto the hood of his car to drink, stare at the stars, and think of her.

* * *

Ben woke suddenly, gasping, as if he was a drowning man coming up for air. He clutched his pounding head, trying to stop the world from spinning. His breath fogged faintly in the air as he blinked slowly, trying to steady himself despite being seated. When his blurry vision had mostly subsided, he looked at his watch, nothing the time. The numbers 2:45AM shone back at him.

“Shit!” Ben scrambled to put his keys in the ignition. How could he have slept for over six and a half hours? Lucky he did, though, as most of the alcohol had left his system, leaving him mostly sober. “Rey is going to kill me,” he muttered to himself, putting the car in reverse, quickly backing out of the parking spot before speeding off into the night.

His driving was manic speeding, and it was a miracle he didn’t get pulled over in his hurried race against time to get home. He hoped Rey was home. He had a feeling she was arriving today, well, yesterday, and he had only wanted to clear his mind a little bit before heading home and spilling his inner thoughts to the one he loved. He hadn’t planned on sleeping for over six hours. Given, he hadn’t been sleeping well, or really at all, since Rey left, plus all the alcohol he had consumed, it made sense he had passed out for as long as he did.

“Shit. Shit! SHIT!” He screamed in his car, sitting at the longest red light ever. He was fine with speeding, but running red lights was a hard ‘no,’ despite the hurry he was in. When the light finally turned green, he rushed off again, cursing the whole time. He had to get home. He had to see her. He needed to know she loved him and he needed her to know he loved her too.

Turning onto their street, he was easily going fifty-five in a twenty-five mile per hour zone. His brakes screeched as he went over the curb and sidewalk, pulling into their shared driveway. He turned off his car and took a second to just breathe, before he quickly locked his car, and took the steps two at a time up to their second floor apartment. Hands shaking, he tried to put the key in the lock, but in his trembling, he dropped his keys. Taking a few more deep breaths, Ben picked up his keys again, this time slowly and calmly unlocking the door. 

Their apartment was dimly lit, the sole light coming from the kitchen off in the corner. Quietly closing the door behind him, Ben crept into the kitchen, seeing Rey sitting at their table. Looking at the microwave clock, it shone back 2:55. He had made pretty good time, but then again, that clock was slow. Rey hadn’t realized he was in the room yet, so Ben coughed quietly under his breath. She jumped slightly at the sound, turning to look at him, relief coloring her face, chasing away the worry and doubt in her eyes.

“Ben!” She yelled, getting up quickly, the chair tumbling to the ground. He braced himself for a tongue lashing, or even a slap, but those weren’t the things he needed to brace for. Rey all but launched herself at him, hugging him tightly. He felt hot tears start soaking into his shirt where his jacket was open, and it took him a second before he realized Rey was openly sobbing in his arms. Tightening his hold on her, he laid his cheek on her head, whispering sweet and calming nothings to try to ease her intense emotions. Before too long, Rey’s sobs had eased into the occasional hiccuped breath, and she pulled back to stare at him, tear-stained face red and blotchy.

“I was so worried. I came home and you weren’t here. So I waited for a call or a text or any sign that you were okay. I tried calling your cell, but it went straight to voicemail. I thought -” Her voice caught in her throat and she swallowed, trying to find her words again. “I thought you left me, or something else terrible had happened. I just wanted you back, safe and sound.” She let go of him to wipe her eyes, giving him a watery smile.

Ben just leaned against the door frame, his strength leaving him. How could this woman, his woman, still love him after everything he has put her through? He hung his head, ashamed of making her worry even more than normal. Eyes staring at the floor, not meeting Rey’s loving gaze, he murmured the words that had been burning on this tongue for a long damn time.

“Love, Rey, I’m sorry.” Fully expecting her to walk away, still not comprehending that Rey didn’t hate him, he wasn’t expecting her hand to cup his cheek and force him to look at her. His shameful gaze met her kind one, and a single tear slipped down his cheek, hitting her fingers. She wiped his tear away, and got up on tiptoe to kiss his lips gently.

“What for?” Her small smile was genuine and pure, and her eyes shone with love. “I’m yours and that’s it. I should not have been gone for so long, but I’m yours and that’s it, forever. You’re mine and that’s it, forever.”

With her honest confession of pure love, Ben felt his walls crack, then shatter, and he gathered Rey into his arms, tears running down his face. “Oh God, Rey. I love you. I love you so damn much it hurts. You mean the world to me, and I’m so sorry for how things have been lately. I promise, I swear, we’ll get through this. I’ll do anything you think will help. Fuck, I’ll even see a shrink. Just please. Please, don’t leave me.” His last sentence came out in a hushed whisper, tightening his grip on the one he loved. Her arms came up around his back and pulled him closer to her. How that was possible, he didn’t know. But he was so thankful that she wasn’t rejecting him, calling him crazy, and walking away. 

“Remember, I’m yours and you’re mine, forever.” She pulled back enough to kiss him once again, showing him the sparkling ring on her finger. “That is what you had in mind when you asked me to marry you, right?” 

“Of course, Love. I’ve just been so afraid. And I know I’ve been pushing you away. I hate that I do, and I hate myself more and more every time I do it, but I can’t stop. Rey, something’s wrong. I need . . .” He trailed off, looking into her warm eyes, shimmering with happiness and love. “I need help.” 

She wiped a stray tear of his face, holding his head in her two small hands. Ben knew he was truly blessed when Rey kissed him for a third time, running her hands from his face to his hands, intertwining their fingers. She gently pulled him away from leaning on the door frame and he stumbled slightly, righting himself after a second. Standing to his full height, he towered over her, but that didn’t bother his love in the slightest. She just hugged him one last time, before letting go and taking his hand once again, leading them to their shared bedroom.

“It’s okay to need help. And we’ll get you whatever help you need. But for now, we both need to sleep, okay?” 

She turned to him slightly, enough for him to see her bright yet tired smile. It beamed brighter than the moon outside their window, and Ben would bet money her smile was brighter than even the sun. It warmed his heart, knowing that Rey wasn’t going to leave. He had a long journey before he could call himself “okay,” but the fact that Rey would be by his side the whole time meant that he could do it. He had someone who believed in him, someone who loved him. He would overcome this monster inside of him, no matter how long it took. And he would do it, for himself, for her, and for their future together. 

**Author's Note:**

> The link to a lyric video is [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pre7bINBps)
> 
> Please comment if you liked it! I'd love to hear what you think! I'm debating writing a chapter two, so please let me know if you'd like that!
> 
> Thank you, again, for reading!


End file.
